embrace the exhale
beware of the constant-tension trap (pt. 2 to ‘slow down’)
With every inhale, there must be an exhale. I am still learning this, as someone who only ever used to be familiar with the inhale, who thought that the exhale was a “waste of time.” Why relax when you can just build more tension, strength, capacity for exertion? Why release when you can continue building up?
It has taken some time for me to cherish and revere the exhale as much as I do the inhale. It has taken some time for me to realize that building non-stop tension usually causes something to snap. It has taken some time for me to notice that without the release—without the exhale—it’s impossible to know what you’ve built tension around, where you need more softness, where you need to invite in ease.
Exertion is effort: conscious, intentional energy, directed at something which limits your vision and affects your ability to do everything else, including caring for priorities and values you have not factored into the narrow image of what needs to get done now.
The analogy of breathing is useful in the micro and in the macro here. In the micro, if you had an intense week at work (inhale), take the time to rest (exhale) over the weekend. As for the macro… well, in my case: I had a, like, 15 year long inhale, and then a ~1 year long exhale, and as someone who now tries to peacefully inhale and exhale continuously, let me just say that if you desire an exhale chapter—where you are not constantly holding onto tension and are enjoying where you are—you should know that adjusting the nervous system to pausing and slowing down is, well, quite an adjustment. Especially for those conditioned to see being in tension as the norm.
Making this shift can be like learning to walk or talk for the first time: completely foreign at first. Feeling confused at how others seem to do it so easily. Not totally intuitive until your body gets used to it. But there is a way to build more ease into your life. There is a way to soften without losing the ability to exert when you need to. There is a way to bring life more into balance—to slow down and speed up, consistently, intentionally, and thoughtfully, without losing the momentum you’ve worked so hard to develop. There is a way to live the way you want without burning yourself out in the process. There is a way to acquaint yourself with ease.