embracing impermanence

fresh flowers, new beginnings, and other ebbs and flows in life

My October 2021 bouquet flowers

I once had the privilege of spending a week with an extremely wise buddhist monk who had a strong grasp on what he believed were the core pillars of life. One of them, he explained, was impermanence.

Life is changing constantly. Each day, new people come into the world, and many leave it. There are a whole host of changes that we have no control over, occurring in each passing minute, everywhere.

More specifically though, these uncontrollable changes emerge each day in our own lives. Perhaps we get injured, or a family member falls ill, or a furnace breaks, or a rough patch forms in a relationship.

Sometimes these changes — these problems — feel crushing, urgent, and irreversible.

But almost always, these changes are natural, probable even.

Life is not stagnant. It is not designed to be easy, linear, or predictable. And what a boring life it would be if that were the case!

Life is impermanent. Not only in that we won’t be here forever (don’t worry, we’re not getting that dark today), but in that our lives are constantly evolving. Sometimes it can feel like these changes aren’t good. Like they’re signals of us losing progress, that we’re “off track”, or that we’re losing touch with ourselves.

But in times like this where it feels like we might be far from where we want to be, or that something bad is happening to us, I like to come back to this concept of impermanence.

Fresh Flowers and New Beginnings

I’ve recently developed a newfound adoration for fresh flowers. On the first Sunday of each month, I make a day out of going to a flower shop near my house, and taking my time to curate a lovely bundle of flowers bursting with life, colour, and beauty. These flowers bring me joy, and they remind me to appreciate the small things in life.

Slowly, naturally, and gracefully, these flowers begin to wilt and whither over time. They evolve into something else entirely, and eventually, they die and need to be replaced.

This cycle (while surprisingly expensive) is completely natural. We’re not surprised when flowers wilt and shed petals. We’re not surprised when their time has passed.

And yet it can feel surprising when a phase in our life begins to wilt.

Instead of viewing the changes in life as tragic or unwelcome, we can choose to view them through a lens of impermanence.

A phase in our life which was once beautiful might whither in order to create space for something to replace it: a new beginning. By embracing these changes instead of fighting them, we can rejuvenate the aspects of our life which are wilting with something new — like we replace a dying bouquet of flowers with a fresh one, filling up the room with a sweet and lively aroma that might look, smell, and feel a little different from the last one.

This is how life evolves. Things come and go. Sometimes these things are exciting. Sometimes they are painful. Almost always, they pass.

Our lives might look entirely different in a few years from how they look today. At first, that might seem scary — like it is something that we should resist, because the present is certain. We know we can (hopefully) handle what our lives are today. We might even nestle up into the comfort of life today. But this can be a trap. We are not meant to stay where we are — we are meant to change, evolve, and embrace the impermanence of life.

The Comforts of Impermanence

There is great comfort to be taken in impermanence. Sometimes when we’re going through the growing pains of life, it is important to remind ourselves that this too shall pass. Life is oftentimes random, unfair, and inconvenient. It is also temporary.

Oftentimes, the ‘obstacles’ in life that feel like they are pushing up against us are actually pushing us in a direction that we need to go in.

When we try and resist life’s impermanence, it shoves it right back in our face — reminding us how important it is to work with these changes, instead of against them.

Ultimately, changes in life — whether good, bad, surprising, unusual, scary, overwhelming, or uncomfortable — are simply a sign of evolution. Soon enough, just like a bouquet of flowers, the aspects of our lives that are causing trouble will die out and be replaced with something new.

It is also important to remind ourselves of impermanence when things are going well. When you are flourishing like a fresh bundle of red carnations sprinkled between white sweetheart roses (a recent favourite combination), remember to savour those moments and enjoy where you are. Joyful moments, like stressful ones, are temporary, and are not to be taken for granted.

By reminding ourselves of life’s impermanence, we can work with life’s changes, instead of against them. We can embrace growth, welcome new beginnings, and avoid getting too caught up in or distraught over the rapidly changing landscape of our lives.

The good, the bad, and everything in between is constantly ebbing and flowing, because life — like flowers — is impermanent.

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Quote I'm pondering:

"If you fit in, you're replaceable." - Tim Denning