Amazing how I’m in a similar position myself. The plan this year is to find a routine which keeps the phone at arm’s length. The point about ingesting all these random viewpoints is very true and in moments I find myself regurgitating what the comment section might be saying in reaction to things I see online. Need to rescue independent thought this year lol
i’m with you my friend. +1 on regurgitating thoughts that you recognize as not your own as they come out of your mouth… always a startling experience. let us return to our own minds!!!
I am kind of going through a similar ordeal. Few days back, I read a tweet asking people how to genuinely get smarter - and 99% replies said to ditch the phone. I share the same sentiment, but it’s really tough to draw boundaries between what is just doomscrolling or digital stimulation and what is food for thought, as someone who spends a considerable amount of time on twitter and genuinely likes to read up on and talk about the latest happenings there: be it the memes, pop culture or politics. In November I picked up learning French, and this month I am really trying to read and write more- but it’s hard to even go through a few pages without refreshing Instagram or twitter as a ‘break’. It’s weird. It also makes me wonder how the younger generation finds digital stimulation as perhaps the only source of entertainment these days. At least we know what it was like to be smarter back when smart phones weren’t the holy grail of life itself, but for people like my brother they have existed since the beginning of time and perhaps most integral part of life right now.
agree with everything here and resonate 100%! also been wanting to more intentionally pick up french - what has worked well for you in beginning to learn it?
Well, bit ironic given the topic of discussion but Duolingo really helped with the basics 😂 it was also an attempt to connect with my little brother more because he uses the app very frequently. Then I browsed Reddit for some genuine advice- especially because while writing & reading French is easy for English natives, the pronunciation and listening part is very difficult- and got some recommendations for French shows, most popular being “Extra French” (a series of FRIENDS-esque language show). What really helped with the grammar was I went back to first grade roots and started learning French the way my teachers taught me English, parts of sentences and all that. Made a whole notebook. I am lagging a bit, but I can definitely pick up on random French phrases in different contexts which does make me feel proud lol.
This is so good. Your reflection on the marathon study sessions transported me to the 5th floor of my undergraduate library where I would do something similar. Rewriting physics problems, connecting ideas, and truly understanding the complex content was such an empowering feeling. As you mentioned, probably romanticized a bit, but those library strolls to the water fountain hit different.
I've dealt with this by thinking about what I actually get out of having my phone and, for me, it essentially comes down to messages. I've purged most other things away.
I highly recommend Beeper which allows you to get messages from many different platforms in one and, more importantly, allows you to have Instagram/Twitter/Discord DMs without having to have the distracting aspects of those apps open.
I think it's safe to say our phones are making us all dumb.
It's at least encouraging to see how many of us are taking note of this and beginning to explore ways to find a better relationship with technology. I'm with you on this being a main intention this year.
I wrote about this exact topic recently and how we need to allow space for boredom. Here are some additional things I've also noted as I've been thinking about it since:
1. "Social" media is a net negative for relationships. Social media makes us feel like we're connected to our friends by staying up to date with what they're doing, but in reality all this does is kill any wonder we have about them or what may be going on in their lives. As the saying goes, "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Social media creates an illusory shortened distance (closeness) to our friends. Whereas before that wonder would have led to a text, or phone call to that friend to check in on them, now it may just lead to a like on their story or quick comment.
2. The reason our phones are making us dumb is because they make us feel like we know a lot of things when we actually don't. There's so much rich insight online that's curated for us in "For You" pages. Back-to-back-to-back posts, and insightful comments in those threads. It's insane. We can't get enough so we want to read more and more. We are in a rush to get through all of it because there's other threads that we have bookmarked as well. However, this leads us to only engaging with the material in a superficial level. We usually don't engage in further investigation or dialogue to dig deeper which is where true understanding and fulfillment comes in. You point this out here: "I would eventually reach a sense of flow with the material, where it felt like I was in dialogue with it. I would think about it, dream about it, wonder about it. Eventually, I would actually be enjoying it." I noticed that I've been pretty lazy with my engagement in my readings recently. So I started taking more notes, writing down questions, re-reading chapters, and I realized it was a much more fulfilling experience than just skimming through the book. It felt like I was having an actual conversation with the author of the book. This takes a way longer time than just skimming through the book, but I should definitely enough time for it with the time that I will be saving from media consumption.
3. Information overload causes anxiety. As mentioned in point 2, there's a lot of rich content online that give great insight on life: telling you what to do, how to think, how to live, etc., but too much of it is overwhelming. After scrolling long enough online, all the advice contradicts each other so then you don't even know which to follow. And instead of actually doing anything yourself, you're left spinning your wheels and overthinking and feeling guilty for not doing anything. You have all these voices in your head telling you what to do that you don't even know where to differentiate your own voice, it's been drowned out. This is why I wrote about how important it is for us to allow ourselves to be bored and create that space of silence so that we can reconnect with the voice that is true to us.
I'm hopeful that we'll all find a way to strike this healthy balance.
i absolutely love how you portray that it feels like fiction to you because i am also in a similar boat. i have more ambition than i can even express, but it’s the damn phone! it’s the fact that i am allowing myself to be more immersed with strangers online. more recently though, i have taken steps to make my life real to me. i’ve deleted apps or even social media platforms that do not suit my vision. it’s actually interesting though to note that a lot of these apps or platforms i downloaded in the first place was all based on societal pressure or the most least excuse to “feel apart of something.” it’s not the case anymore that i fall into that role of falling under pressure, instead now i find myself actively choosing decisions based on how i think/feel and not due to someone else’s “should.”
1000%. At the end of December, I had 2 weeks off from work and decided to delete all social media off my phone. I made it a point to focus on resting, deep practice at the piano, and enjoy music and film on a deeper level. It felt amazing, brought me back to my early 20s (2009-2011) when I didn't own a smartphone. My life then was surrounded by my books, my records. I had artistic breakthroughs. Jan 1st I re-downloaded Social Media and I felt 'dumb' again. The title of the essay resonated with me because it is true, our phones (if not careful) are making us dumb, making us react quickly w/o thinking (no wonder the world is 'angry'). More and more people are waking up to the idea of limiting phone time and you outlined a strong case why we should. Love your writing, thanks for sharing with all of us!
Thank you for articulating this. I finally read 60 pages of a book today after literally 2 years of not being able to sit through 10 pages without opening my phone. I can actually FEEL my brain decaying and atrophying. There’s an app called OneSec which has been helpful for me. You install it on particular apps and it makes you take a visualized deep breath and then asks you if you want to continue. The premium version has some more features but this is what I know of the free version. In any case, I’m finding the deep breath helpful.
p.s. it feels weird to plug my own product - i actually want to help you and your readers solve this problem - so go ahead and use the promo code FAMILY40 at checkout so you get the product at cost. you're welcome fellow readers :)
I relate to this so much. My husband and I instituted a "digital Shabbat" on Saturdays where we don't use screens (phone, TV, laptop) all day and it's one of the best things.
It's not only the feeling of clarity you have when you are not scrolling endlessly, but how connected you feel with other people. We've had so many long talks about lives and our future, about random topics and ideas, where we suddenly realize we've been going at it for hours because we have no distractions.
It's also a forcing function to go out and explore the city way more. We've gone to museums, parks, antique stores, or just hung out with friends all day.
This device is a paradoxical daemon that can aid or mar your intellectual puissance. I feel my phone stopped me from doing so much.
I am a very weird person. I started reading Shakespeares for no reason,not because I was forced or I have any assessment in view,I bought Mathematics textbook by KA stroud not because I have any exams but just because I want to know. I own many books in my teens. My teen years was a booky period of my life. However,I stopped doing all of that. My phone is both a culprit and it abets me. Thanks for putting this out here.
This was an excellent read and exactly what I needed to kick off the year. Over the past year, I've shared similar thoughts about my relationship with technology, social media, my phone, and online consumption in general, but I haven't taken any action. This year, I am committed to making decisive changes, and I'm glad I discovered this essay.
I deleted my instagram account this morfina and a friend sent me this. Isso amazing how we're not alone even when it feels like we are. Thank you for sharing!
Isabel, this is exactly how I've been feeling for the past few days, and I can't thank you enough for writing this article. I was trying to find the words to describe the weird numbness that scrolling brought, and I found it here: The phone is frying my brain and attention span.
When you described your 4th-floor library self, I remembered how focused I was during my high school exams. I could sit with one history book for eight hours straight without getting bored and now it seems impossible. But you've given me hope. Thank you so much!
absolutely incredible article. can’t even articulate how helpful and impactful I found this
Amazing how I’m in a similar position myself. The plan this year is to find a routine which keeps the phone at arm’s length. The point about ingesting all these random viewpoints is very true and in moments I find myself regurgitating what the comment section might be saying in reaction to things I see online. Need to rescue independent thought this year lol
i’m with you my friend. +1 on regurgitating thoughts that you recognize as not your own as they come out of your mouth… always a startling experience. let us return to our own minds!!!
I am kind of going through a similar ordeal. Few days back, I read a tweet asking people how to genuinely get smarter - and 99% replies said to ditch the phone. I share the same sentiment, but it’s really tough to draw boundaries between what is just doomscrolling or digital stimulation and what is food for thought, as someone who spends a considerable amount of time on twitter and genuinely likes to read up on and talk about the latest happenings there: be it the memes, pop culture or politics. In November I picked up learning French, and this month I am really trying to read and write more- but it’s hard to even go through a few pages without refreshing Instagram or twitter as a ‘break’. It’s weird. It also makes me wonder how the younger generation finds digital stimulation as perhaps the only source of entertainment these days. At least we know what it was like to be smarter back when smart phones weren’t the holy grail of life itself, but for people like my brother they have existed since the beginning of time and perhaps most integral part of life right now.
agree with everything here and resonate 100%! also been wanting to more intentionally pick up french - what has worked well for you in beginning to learn it?
Well, bit ironic given the topic of discussion but Duolingo really helped with the basics 😂 it was also an attempt to connect with my little brother more because he uses the app very frequently. Then I browsed Reddit for some genuine advice- especially because while writing & reading French is easy for English natives, the pronunciation and listening part is very difficult- and got some recommendations for French shows, most popular being “Extra French” (a series of FRIENDS-esque language show). What really helped with the grammar was I went back to first grade roots and started learning French the way my teachers taught me English, parts of sentences and all that. Made a whole notebook. I am lagging a bit, but I can definitely pick up on random French phrases in different contexts which does make me feel proud lol.
this is amazing! good for you, you should be proud :) appreciate the reflections and i will save these recs!!
Happy to help!! Also love your blog <33
thank you <3
This is so good. Your reflection on the marathon study sessions transported me to the 5th floor of my undergraduate library where I would do something similar. Rewriting physics problems, connecting ideas, and truly understanding the complex content was such an empowering feeling. As you mentioned, probably romanticized a bit, but those library strolls to the water fountain hit different.
We have a supercomputer in our skull!!!!!!
I've dealt with this by thinking about what I actually get out of having my phone and, for me, it essentially comes down to messages. I've purged most other things away.
I highly recommend Beeper which allows you to get messages from many different platforms in one and, more importantly, allows you to have Instagram/Twitter/Discord DMs without having to have the distracting aspects of those apps open.
amazing suggestion!! will definitely check out beeper, thank you for that
I think it's safe to say our phones are making us all dumb.
It's at least encouraging to see how many of us are taking note of this and beginning to explore ways to find a better relationship with technology. I'm with you on this being a main intention this year.
I wrote about this exact topic recently and how we need to allow space for boredom. Here are some additional things I've also noted as I've been thinking about it since:
1. "Social" media is a net negative for relationships. Social media makes us feel like we're connected to our friends by staying up to date with what they're doing, but in reality all this does is kill any wonder we have about them or what may be going on in their lives. As the saying goes, "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Social media creates an illusory shortened distance (closeness) to our friends. Whereas before that wonder would have led to a text, or phone call to that friend to check in on them, now it may just lead to a like on their story or quick comment.
2. The reason our phones are making us dumb is because they make us feel like we know a lot of things when we actually don't. There's so much rich insight online that's curated for us in "For You" pages. Back-to-back-to-back posts, and insightful comments in those threads. It's insane. We can't get enough so we want to read more and more. We are in a rush to get through all of it because there's other threads that we have bookmarked as well. However, this leads us to only engaging with the material in a superficial level. We usually don't engage in further investigation or dialogue to dig deeper which is where true understanding and fulfillment comes in. You point this out here: "I would eventually reach a sense of flow with the material, where it felt like I was in dialogue with it. I would think about it, dream about it, wonder about it. Eventually, I would actually be enjoying it." I noticed that I've been pretty lazy with my engagement in my readings recently. So I started taking more notes, writing down questions, re-reading chapters, and I realized it was a much more fulfilling experience than just skimming through the book. It felt like I was having an actual conversation with the author of the book. This takes a way longer time than just skimming through the book, but I should definitely enough time for it with the time that I will be saving from media consumption.
3. Information overload causes anxiety. As mentioned in point 2, there's a lot of rich content online that give great insight on life: telling you what to do, how to think, how to live, etc., but too much of it is overwhelming. After scrolling long enough online, all the advice contradicts each other so then you don't even know which to follow. And instead of actually doing anything yourself, you're left spinning your wheels and overthinking and feeling guilty for not doing anything. You have all these voices in your head telling you what to do that you don't even know where to differentiate your own voice, it's been drowned out. This is why I wrote about how important it is for us to allow ourselves to be bored and create that space of silence so that we can reconnect with the voice that is true to us.
I'm hopeful that we'll all find a way to strike this healthy balance.
i absolutely love how you portray that it feels like fiction to you because i am also in a similar boat. i have more ambition than i can even express, but it’s the damn phone! it’s the fact that i am allowing myself to be more immersed with strangers online. more recently though, i have taken steps to make my life real to me. i’ve deleted apps or even social media platforms that do not suit my vision. it’s actually interesting though to note that a lot of these apps or platforms i downloaded in the first place was all based on societal pressure or the most least excuse to “feel apart of something.” it’s not the case anymore that i fall into that role of falling under pressure, instead now i find myself actively choosing decisions based on how i think/feel and not due to someone else’s “should.”
1000%. At the end of December, I had 2 weeks off from work and decided to delete all social media off my phone. I made it a point to focus on resting, deep practice at the piano, and enjoy music and film on a deeper level. It felt amazing, brought me back to my early 20s (2009-2011) when I didn't own a smartphone. My life then was surrounded by my books, my records. I had artistic breakthroughs. Jan 1st I re-downloaded Social Media and I felt 'dumb' again. The title of the essay resonated with me because it is true, our phones (if not careful) are making us dumb, making us react quickly w/o thinking (no wonder the world is 'angry'). More and more people are waking up to the idea of limiting phone time and you outlined a strong case why we should. Love your writing, thanks for sharing with all of us!
Thank you for articulating this. I finally read 60 pages of a book today after literally 2 years of not being able to sit through 10 pages without opening my phone. I can actually FEEL my brain decaying and atrophying. There’s an app called OneSec which has been helpful for me. You install it on particular apps and it makes you take a visualized deep breath and then asks you if you want to continue. The premium version has some more features but this is what I know of the free version. In any case, I’m finding the deep breath helpful.
hi isabel, i resonate with this topic A LOT.
so much so that i quit my 6-figure tech job and moved to silicon valley to create a solution to this problem.
after many iterations i found the answer was in creating a physical product that adds a layer of intentionality to your phone use.
i'm biased of course but it's worked wonders for me so far.
i feel more present and less distracted in my day-to-day.
check it out:
https://blok.so/
p.s. it feels weird to plug my own product - i actually want to help you and your readers solve this problem - so go ahead and use the promo code FAMILY40 at checkout so you get the product at cost. you're welcome fellow readers :)
I relate to this so much. My husband and I instituted a "digital Shabbat" on Saturdays where we don't use screens (phone, TV, laptop) all day and it's one of the best things.
It's not only the feeling of clarity you have when you are not scrolling endlessly, but how connected you feel with other people. We've had so many long talks about lives and our future, about random topics and ideas, where we suddenly realize we've been going at it for hours because we have no distractions.
It's also a forcing function to go out and explore the city way more. We've gone to museums, parks, antique stores, or just hung out with friends all day.
I love this.
This device is a paradoxical daemon that can aid or mar your intellectual puissance. I feel my phone stopped me from doing so much.
I am a very weird person. I started reading Shakespeares for no reason,not because I was forced or I have any assessment in view,I bought Mathematics textbook by KA stroud not because I have any exams but just because I want to know. I own many books in my teens. My teen years was a booky period of my life. However,I stopped doing all of that. My phone is both a culprit and it abets me. Thanks for putting this out here.
This was an excellent read and exactly what I needed to kick off the year. Over the past year, I've shared similar thoughts about my relationship with technology, social media, my phone, and online consumption in general, but I haven't taken any action. This year, I am committed to making decisive changes, and I'm glad I discovered this essay.
Amazing article! I share a lot of the feelings you are mentioning.
I deleted my instagram account this morfina and a friend sent me this. Isso amazing how we're not alone even when it feels like we are. Thank you for sharing!
Isabel, this is exactly how I've been feeling for the past few days, and I can't thank you enough for writing this article. I was trying to find the words to describe the weird numbness that scrolling brought, and I found it here: The phone is frying my brain and attention span.
When you described your 4th-floor library self, I remembered how focused I was during my high school exams. I could sit with one history book for eight hours straight without getting bored and now it seems impossible. But you've given me hope. Thank you so much!