Hence why most of society never understands artists: they don’t know what it looks like to exist as their true selves, unencumbered by the need to perform, so when they see honest self-expression, they call it crazy.
You are so sooo good at simplifying complex deep topics. The engineering in you still exists in your writing modality. Genuinely I think you are uniquely talented. Keep them coming.
holy fuck, i’ve been thinking about this article all day since reading it this morning. such a well crafted and thought out piece. this might just be the final push i’ve been looking for to tell myself it’s ok to quit my job...
This post brings to mind what has gone on in my mother's life. For years she seemed quite career driven and did well in that, but probably there were hints that not everything was great. Lots of stress, short fuse, pain killers every day just to get through life.
Then after a family tragedy she essentially changed over night. Stopped doing work at home, wanted to spend time with family. After retiring she took up drawing, which she always liked but never really spent time on. Now she draws multiple hours per day, and even ended up learning how to do some animations. She also spends a bunch of time cooking new things and learning languages, which she didn't use to do.
She's visibly more happy and far less stressed. If she gets invited to anything that reminds her of the old life she starts having an intense feeling of dread. After seeing the difference first-hand I'm also very reluctant to put a mask on.
I'm going to lobby Substack for a highlight feature, then come back and highlight half this article. You captured the price of should-ism so accurately.
"The exhaustion you get from performing even the simplest tasks wears on you differently. It’s as if your life force energy starts declining, rejecting the tasks you are employing it to complete in an attempt to show you that you are focused on the wrong thing."
Thank you for writing this. I spent a solid 15 minutes staring at a wall, in an introspective state, after every couple of paragraphs. So articulate for a topic as complex as this
Thanks for exploring this for us. Reminds my if my career changes, when i outgrew the role, or the company culture changed. Job satisfaction is huge for me, as well as being appreciated, and being able to bring my ideas forward and given a fair assessment.
Furthermore I've learnt to trust my gut feeling in all aspects of my life.
A book that had a profound impact on me is Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life? (He wrote Fight Club and other novels, but had started as a Manhattan financial analyst.
This was a great read – thanks for sharing. I feel like I've been circling around some similar ideas in my writing recently but the "performing vs existing", "contracting vs expanding" frames really cut to it beautifully.
A really great read related to the subject is Michael Singer's "The Untethered Soul". It's about much more than just living as yourself but the book provides simple process of being aware and redesigning the life the way you want. I highly recommend it.
'I eventually realized that the reason it’s hard to understand this choice is because most people are wearing masks for so long that they forget what it is like to exist without one.'
Hence why most of society never understands artists: they don’t know what it looks like to exist as their true selves, unencumbered by the need to perform, so when they see honest self-expression, they call it crazy.
You are so sooo good at simplifying complex deep topics. The engineering in you still exists in your writing modality. Genuinely I think you are uniquely talented. Keep them coming.
holy fuck, i’ve been thinking about this article all day since reading it this morning. such a well crafted and thought out piece. this might just be the final push i’ve been looking for to tell myself it’s ok to quit my job...
been contemplating this topic internally a bunch lately, thank you for sharing this.
This post brings to mind what has gone on in my mother's life. For years she seemed quite career driven and did well in that, but probably there were hints that not everything was great. Lots of stress, short fuse, pain killers every day just to get through life.
Then after a family tragedy she essentially changed over night. Stopped doing work at home, wanted to spend time with family. After retiring she took up drawing, which she always liked but never really spent time on. Now she draws multiple hours per day, and even ended up learning how to do some animations. She also spends a bunch of time cooking new things and learning languages, which she didn't use to do.
She's visibly more happy and far less stressed. If she gets invited to anything that reminds her of the old life she starts having an intense feeling of dread. After seeing the difference first-hand I'm also very reluctant to put a mask on.
Great piece!
It is so well written. How much time did it take you to craft it? How did the writing process look like?
I'm going to lobby Substack for a highlight feature, then come back and highlight half this article. You captured the price of should-ism so accurately.
"The exhaustion you get from performing even the simplest tasks wears on you differently. It’s as if your life force energy starts declining, rejecting the tasks you are employing it to complete in an attempt to show you that you are focused on the wrong thing."
Thank you for writing this. I spent a solid 15 minutes staring at a wall, in an introspective state, after every couple of paragraphs. So articulate for a topic as complex as this
Thanks for exploring this for us. Reminds my if my career changes, when i outgrew the role, or the company culture changed. Job satisfaction is huge for me, as well as being appreciated, and being able to bring my ideas forward and given a fair assessment.
Furthermore I've learnt to trust my gut feeling in all aspects of my life.
A book that had a profound impact on me is Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life? (He wrote Fight Club and other novels, but had started as a Manhattan financial analyst.
This was a great read – thanks for sharing. I feel like I've been circling around some similar ideas in my writing recently but the "performing vs existing", "contracting vs expanding" frames really cut to it beautifully.
I really like these questions :)
What feels hard when it should feel easy?
If no one cared that you do this, would you still do it?
A really great read related to the subject is Michael Singer's "The Untethered Soul". It's about much more than just living as yourself but the book provides simple process of being aware and redesigning the life the way you want. I highly recommend it.
cratively engineered this piece. thank you for sharing this
You describe this perfectly.
'I eventually realized that the reason it’s hard to understand this choice is because most people are wearing masks for so long that they forget what it is like to exist without one.'
great piece!